Vanilla by Billy Merrell

From Goodreads,

A bold, groundbreaking novel about coming out, coming into your own, and coming apart.

Hunter and Van become boyfriends before they're even teenagers, and stay a couple even when adolescence intervenes. But in high school, conflict arises -- mostly because Hunter is much more comfortable with the sex part of sexual identity. As the two boys start to realize that loving someone doesn't guarantee they will always be with you, they find out more about their own identities -- with Hunter striking out on his own while Van begins to understand his own asexuality.

In poems that are romantic and poems that are heartbreaking, Vanilla explores all the flavors of the spectrum -- and how romance and love aren't always the same thing.

Goodreads - Vanilla

We are halfway through poetry month, and this is another review of a book written in verse.  This book is a very unique book because it is told in varying verse styles from three different characters.  Vanilla is about two boys who have been dating since high school.  Hunter wants to take things to the next level, while Vanilla doesn't.  The third character Clown/Angel is an outsider who is friends with both and has varying feelings for both.  This book is the story of their struggle to find themselves.

I am a VERY open person and I will read just about any book.  There are very few that I will turn down reading.  About 20 pages into this book my boyfriend asked how the book was and I honestly said, "Awful."  I am not phobic in any way, but this book was just a struggle for me.  My biggest complaint, that honestly kept me from really "getting into" this book was that the story had three characters narrating.  Now, I am totally fine with multiple characters narrating a story, but I do want there to be clear labels at each chapter or change of narrators telling me who is now telling the story.  The only thing that indicated someone different was speaking was that the font was different.  I found it SOOOO hard to connect with absolutely any characters and I could not keep them straight for the life of me.

This is a really short review because this book did absolutely nothing for me.  It was dull and boring and I had to power through it as best as I could.  It does contain quite a bit of mature content and I wouldn't recommend it to just any young adult.  There are sexual references throughout the book and there are multiple gay characters, a gender-fluid character, and an asexual character.  I have to give this book 1 star.  There was just too much chaos happening in the department of keeping characters straight and it honestly took away from the book.