Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self Love by Jonathan Van Ness

From Goodreads,

"Who gave Jonathan Van Ness permission to be the radiant human he is today? No one, honey.

The truth is, it hasn’t always been gorgeous for this beacon of positivity and joy.

Before he stole our hearts as the grooming and self-care expert on Netflix’s hit show Queer Eye, Jonathan was growing up in a small Midwestern town that didn’t understand why he was so…over the top. From choreographed carpet figure skating routines to the unavoidable fact that he was Just. So. Gay., Jonathan was an easy target and endured years of judgement, ridicule, and trauma—yet none of it crushed his uniquely effervescent spirit.

Over the Top uncovers the pain and passion it took to end up becoming the model of self-love and acceptance that Jonathan is today. In this revelatory, raw, and rambunctious memoir, Jonathan shares never-before-told secrets and reveals sides of himself that the public has never seen. JVN fans may think they know the man behind the stiletto heels, the crop tops, and the iconic sayings, but there’s much more to him than meets the Queer Eye.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll come away knowing that no matter how broken or lost you may be, you’re a Kelly Clarkson song, you’re strong, and you’ve got this."

Goodreads - Over the Top

Awards and Nominations:

• Goodreads Choice Award for Memoir & Autobiography (2019)

This past May my best friend got married.  I was her maid of honor and spent a few days in Austin for the big event.  We ended up staying at an Airbnb that had Netflix.  We ended up watching Queer Eye.  I had never seen it and had no idea what to expect.  Needless to say, I came home and binge-watched the entire series.  Fast forward to a few weeks ago.  I was strolling the aisles of Books-A-Million and saw Over The Top by Queer Eye star Jonathan Van Ness.  He easily and quickly became my favorite on the show.  I knew I needed to read his book and get to know the man with the flawless hair. 

Over The Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love is Jonathan Van Ness's raw and in-depth story of his life.  His autobiography starts with him as a child as he deals with being sexually abused by a boy a few years older than him and trying to find his place as being gay in small-town Illinois.  His story progresses as he moves around the country trying to find his place and learn who he is.  The story has a beautiful arc from a struggling, lost boy to a self-loving queen. 

The entire time I was reading this book I felt like Jonathan was sitting reading it to me.  It was written the exact same way that he talks.  There was an excerpt from the book that I was like "Oh this, this is true."  Jonathan wrote, 

"I don't know what it's like to raise a child.  But I know that when I was growing up, the emphasis was on fitting into the mold that was expected of you while under your parent's roof.  You respect the rules and don't talk back.  Once you're eighteen, you can do what you want.  But if your parents pay the bills, they run the house.  The emphasis is less on raising someone who can take care of themselves and more on following the ideas that have been passed down to you."

I grew up in a small town myself.  The entire time I lived with my parents, even when I was in college to an extent, I felt like I had to follow in with what my parents had always taught me and believed in.  While I was in college I really realized there were so many different views and opinions, and that the ones I had weren't the only ones.  I know for a while I would voice my opinion with things going on in the world and I would hear my parents give a different opinion.  It really took a lot of time for my entire family to get outside of their own head and see that there were other views in the world.  Jonathan writing this really made me stop and think about how much our parents influence us and how we typically follow their ideas until we get out from under their roof.  Once I got out I found I had a more open and accepting attitude toward people than my family did. 

This book was really good and it was a good recap of his life up to this point.  I didn't like the Russian names that were used instead of real names.  They were so confusing to keep straight while I was reading.  I have to give this book 4 stars and definitely recommend it to fans of Queer Eye.