Jay's Journal by Anonymous

From Goodreads, 

"Jay was a sweet, bright high school student who cared about his grades and his friends. He had ambitions. He was happy. And he thought he could handle anything.

He was wrong.

When Jay falls in with a crowd that's dabbling in drugs and the occult, he finds himself in over his head and doing things he never thought possible. Fascinated by the dark arts and in love with a dangerous girl, Jay falls deeper and deeper into a life he no longer recognizes...and sees no way out."

Goodreads - Jay's Journal 

A few years back I read through the Anonymous books that had been published at that time.  (Another has been released since then.)  But there was something about this book that I couldn't pick up and read at that time.  The book quickly got mixed in with the others and eventually got shuffled to the back of where I keep all of my books.  I moved a few months ago and this book ended up at the front of the shelf.  I decided it was time to finally conquer this book.  Conquer isn't a word I use lightly because it took everything in me to finish this book. 

Jay's Journal follows a young boy named Jay who has to keep a journal for his English class.  But Jay ends up falling in with a crowd who starts experimenting with drugs.  Once his parents find out they send him to a facility to get help, he is introduced to something even worse: an occult.  Jay quickly introduces his friends to the same occult material he has been exposed to.  But when Jay wants out he realizes he has no idea how to get out of the mess that he helped create.  

I struggled, and I mean STRUGGLED, to finish this book.  The first book I read that was the same format was Go Ask Alice.  This book is SO similar in writing style and language to Go Ask Alice.  Both books use a triple word format at times like "Dumb, dumb, dumb."  It was repetitive and I personally felt like there was no storyline to the book.  There's a note at the beginning and at the end of this book.  The beginning note talks about how Jay was a real person and this book is the journals he left behind.  The note at the end is from Jay's mother.  Halfway through the book, I started doing a little digging.  Jay is based on a real person named Alden.  And Alden did take his own life like in the book.  Alden also kept a journal like Jay did in the book.  But the reality is that only 21 of Alden's 212 entries were actually used for this book.  This means that the majority of this book was completely fabricated.  And because the author did this it raised all kinds of questions and problems for Alden's family and his town.  People begin to look into where occult activity had taken place and if there had been animal sacrifices like in the book.  Alden's brother even wrote a book about the truth of Alden and this book.  It's just irritating for an author to claim that this is based on a true story and a true person when in all reality the majority of the book was a complete lie.  

This book was a huge letdown and I considered not finishing it multiple times.  But I pushed through and finished it with frustration in my soul.  This was definitely my least favorite of all of the Anonymous books that I've read.  I think if you've read the others you *might* enjoy this, but it definitely did absolutely nothing for me.  I give this 1 star only because I don't believe in giving no stars.

Calling Maggie May by Anonymous

From Goodreads,

"A dark and edgy first-person cautionary tale about how one girl’s seemingly minor choices quickly spiraled into a life as a sex worker in the tradition of Go Ask Alice and Lucy in the Sky.

She had a normal life, until one small decision changed everything. Suddenly, there were new possibilities and new experiences.

But not all of those experiences were good.

Read her shocking story in the diary she left behind."

Goodreads - Calling Maggie May

This book is part of the Anonymous Diaries.  I read Go Ask Alice first and enjoyed the idea of the book being based on a true story.  Things spiraled from there and I've read most of the books that are a part of the series.  I was so  excited to get this book checked off my list, but I felt really let down when I finally finished it.

This book is written in the traditional diary format with the name of the author being withheld.  The book starts with a teenage girl feeling lonely and wanting attention from a boy.  She ends up making a new friend who ends up being a prostitute.  The girl quickly falls into the same lifestyle of prostitution and things quickly spiral with her family, her friends, school, and her social life.  In true fashion the book comes to an end with an author's note about what happened.

I feel like the older I get the more I get annoyed with these books.  The author of this "diary" was very naive and childish.  She lived in a nice house with a nice family who cared deeply for her.  They were a little bit demanding as far as school was concerned, but she still had a positive atmosphere to go home to.  The author fell so quickly into the life of prostitution because she was able to get attention from boys and men.  I think that this idea of getting attention by selling your body is a terrible idea to put into the minds of young adults.  I think that any young girl who has self esteem or confidence issues would quickly think that selling your body would mean that a person likes you and that it will get you attention.  Also, any girl needing money may get the idea that they can easily sell their body to earn easy and quick cash.  I think it is important for difficult topics such as prostitution be included in literature for teens.  However, I think it needs to be introduced in a way that doesn't make it seem like a fun, appealing way to get attention or make money.  This book paints a false picture.  It briefly touched on the real parts of prostitution, such as drug use, abuse, rape, and death.  I feel like if prostitution was going to be the centerpiece of the book that it should have been painted realistically, and not in a way that makes it seem fun.

I always have the complaint that these books never include the author's name.  I always feel like I need a name to connect with a character.  The lack of a name for the main character always leaves me feeling irritated and finding a better connection with a secondary character.  The book is titled, Calling Maggie May.  I definitely thought that her hooker name was going to be Maggie May, but it wasn't.  I'm still not sure what the connection was to that name because the name Maggie May was never once mentioned in the book. 

I'm not sure why I keep putting myself through the misery of reading these books.  I guess I continue to hope that one of them will jump out and I'll love it.  I give this 1 star.  I don't advise this for young adults, especially those who are easily impressionable, wanting attention, or seeking money.  If you are reading through the Anonymous Diaries then I obviously recommend reading this, but if not you can absolutely skip it and not miss anything. 

Letting Ana Go by Anonymous

From Goodreads,

"In the tradition of Go Ask Alice and Lucy in the Sky, a harrowing account of anorexia and addiction.

She was a good girl from a good family, with everything she could want or need. But below the surface, she felt like she could never be good enough. Like she could never live up to the expectations that surrounded her. Like she couldn’t do anything to make a change.

But there was one thing she could control completely: how much she ate. The less she ate, the better—stronger—she felt.

But it’s a dangerous game, and there is such a thing as going too far…

Her innermost thoughts and feelings are chronicled in the diary she left behind."

Goodreads - Letting Ana Go

After reading Go Ask Alice I purchased the rest of the books in this series.  Out of all of them I was looking forward to reading Letting Ana Go the most.  I knew that I would have a connection with this book because it focuses on a girl struggling with her weight.  I have always been self conscious and have struggled to get the pounds off.  This book definitely had an impact on me, a very negative impact.

This book follows the unnamed girl who I will refer to Ana, as she unexpectedly embarks on a weight loss journey.  Ana is a high school student who is very active and fit.  Her cross country coach tells the team they have to start keeping food journals to ensure they are eating enough and not developing an eating disorder.  At first Ana keeps her health in check, but soon she starts obsessing over her weight and how much she is eating.  One of her friends starts to encourage her to eat less and workout more.  Tragedy strikes when Ana passes out at a cross country meet.  At that point it is discovered that she has anorexia.  For the rest of the book Ana, her family, and friends struggle to help her overcome this disease in hopes they can save her.

As I was reading this, Ana made it seem so easy to not eat and to just lose the weight.  She constantly saw herself as being fat, even though she was nowhere near that.  The longer I read this book, the more I realized I was unhappy with myself.  I kept thinking that I needed to start working out again and counting calories.  By the end of the book I had texted my boyfriend and said I was going to start working out again.  And then it hit me.  I had been sucked into the twisted obsession over my size.  I thought about how I didn't look how society says I should look.  It was at this point that I realized this book is very dangerous, especially if a young girl was to read this.  I have the self control to not go to the extreme that Ana went to in the book.  However, if a young teenage girl read this, I think she could easily get pulled into the book and start doing exactly what Ana did.  This book is completely dangerous because it glamorizes anorexia and makes it seem "fun" because you'll look amazing in the end.

This book really affected me because I felt like it preyed upon my insecurities and made me even more self conscious than I already am.  This book is completely dangerous and makes it seem so easy to lose the weight.  It lays it out how to easily drop the pounds and what to do to cover your tracks.  I give this book 1 star out of 5.  I don't recommend this book to anyone.

The Book of David by Anonymous

From Goodreads,

"His secret is his downfall. A riveting, first-person tale in the tradition of Go Ask Alice and Lucy in the Sky.
The author of this fictional diary began writing for a class assignment, but soon it became much more to him. As the star player of his high school football team, he faces a lot of pressure and expectation. Not to mention the secret that he’s harboring inside. The secret that could change everything.

And as David quickly learns, nothing stays secret forever.

His innermost thoughts and feelings are chronicled in the diary he left behind."

From Goodreads - The Book of David

This book is written in diary format by a nameless male, which I will refer to as David based on the title.  David is required to start a journal for his English class.  This book takes place in Arkansas and centers around small town football.  As the story progresses we notice that David is having more and more tendencies and instances of attraction to a fellow male classmate.  David ends up becoming a football star after a football injury puts his best friend out of the game.  David struggles to accept who he is in the small town where being gay isn't an option.

This book is written in the same format as Go Ask Alice and Lucy in the Sky, both of which I had a lot of mixed feelings about.  I read this book and definitely enjoyed it more than the other two.  There was no drug use like in the other books similar to this.  This book seemed more "real" in my opinion and I think it is because it takes place in a small town in Arkansas, which is where I grew up and currently live.  There are so many people I know who were in the same position of David.  They were in high school and liked the opposite sex, but had to keep it a secret because of where we lived.  I read a lot of reviews of this book on Goodreads and they were very shocking to me.  People acted like teenagers aren't living in a situation where they can't come out because it isn't socially acceptable in the town they live in.  I think this book was a pretty fair representation of how people are and how they think regarding LGBT in the bible belt.

The only thing I disliked about this book is that it was very predictable.  I knew the format in which the book was going to end, and I knew that eventually all secrets would be exposed.  After a couple of these books the format just gets really monotonous and boring.  The language that was used in this was also kind of out of date as far as texting.  Most teenagers and young people text using full words and all letters.  No one uses "C U L8TR".  Instead we just type, "See you later".  I think that the author could have used full words instead of text slang.

This book would be a good read for high school kids, but I think some librarians might think twice before putting this in their library.  The only downfall was content and the fact that alcohol was openly used by minors.  I give this book 4 out of 5 stars.

Lucy in the Sky by Anonymous

From Goodreads:

"A riveting first-person tale of addiction, in the tradition of Go Ask Alice and Jay’s Journal.

The author of this diary began journaling on her sixteenth birthday. She lived in an upper middle class neighborhood in Santa Monica with her mom, dad, and Berkeley-bound older brother. She was a good girl, living a good life...but one party changed everything. One party, where she took one taste—and liked it. Really liked it.
Social drinking and drugging lead to more, faster, harder... She convinced herself that she was no different from anyone else who liked to party. But the evidence indicates otherwise: Soon she was she hanging out with an edgy crowd, blowing off school and everything she used to care about, all to find her next high.
But what goes up must come down, and everything—from her first swig, to her last breath—is chronicled in the diary she left behind."

Goodreads - Lucy in the Sky

I read the book Go Ask Alice at the beginning of the year and had a lot of mixed feelings about it.  It took place in the late 60s and early 70s.  I didn't connect with the book because I didn't grow up in the 60s and 70s and there were references I didn't understand.  After finishing the book I passed it on to a friend for her to read.  I knew that there were other books written in the same format by Anonymous and I was unsure if I wanted to read another one.  I was well aware that the book would be in the same diary format and that the conclusion would probably have a coroner's report or a news report.  I enjoyed the book Lucy in the Sky a little more than I enjoyed Go Ask Alice, however it is hard to enjoy either considering the content of the books.

The book Lucy in the Sky follows a girl, who is nameless by the way, as she embarks into her 16th year of life.  She starts a journal and decides to keep it as up to date as possible.  She falls in love with any boy who will show her attention.  She meets Ross who she thinks likes her and decides to take a hit off of a joint in hopes that he will like her more.  "Lucy" ends up making friends with the wrong people and she falls into more trouble than she ever expected.  Throughout the book she drinks cosmos constantly, smokes weed incessantly, and then gets into severe drug use by using and abusing cocaine, LSD, meth, and heroin.  Throughout her entire drug usage her brother is aware of her abusing, but continues to hide it from his parents until one night she got a DUI and he spilled all the beans.  She started to clean herself up and then decided to try meth.  The night she tried meth she also apparently tried heroin.  The dosage was too much and they had to call an ambulance.  She died while they were taking her to the hospital, but the medics were able to bring her back.  Her parents promptly checked her into a rehab facility where she pulled her life together, met Amy who became her AA sponsor, and she gets clean.  While the reader thinks that our drug addict is clean and has pulled her act together, we find the ending is a news report that is reporting the death of a 16 year old girl who died of an accidental meth and heroin overdose.

I have a few issues with this book.  First off is the fact of this being a "diary".  The book is listed as being written by Anonymous.  There was a lot of debate over Go Ask Alice because it was claimed to be based on a diary by a true addict in the 70s.  Psychologist Beatrice Sparks ended up stating that the book was based off of a diary that a patient of hers wrote.  She basically fluffed it and published it.  The fact that people had to question if that was true made me question if any other books by "Anonymous" are true or at least based on true facts.  All of the books that have the same diary format are published as fiction.  It would just be good to know if this is based on someone's diary or if this is purely out of the mind of someone who thought they should do an updated remake of Go Ask Alice.  The back cover of the book makes it seem as if the book is based off of a girl's diary.  The back cover states, "Read her story in her own words, in the diary she left behind."  I just feel that if it were my child that had gone through this and ended up overdosing, I wouldn't really want to publish her diaries that shared every little drink she had and every drug she tried.  I feel that that is personal and I wouldn't want to share it with the world.  That being said, I'm still upset that the book cover portrays this as being the work of an actual drug addict, while the copyright page in the book states it is a work of fiction.

My next issue with this book is the fact that it is written in diary style by a 16 year old girl.  She writes OMG a bajillion times like IT. IS. OVERKILL!  The style was so annoying that I really wanted to slap the main character because she sounded so immature.  But at the same time someone did a really good job at making the character seem like an immature 16 year old.  I know that at probably 14 or 15 I wrote annoyingly like the main character.  I was naive and was just a kid, exactly like the main character was.  She was just extremely annoying with her usage of capital letters and punctuation in the middle of a sentence.  I just feel that if this girl really did become an addict who was trying to fit in, that she would have at least tried to seem mature in her writing and in her life, but this wasn't the case.  It was really hard to like "Lucy".

"Lucy" has an older brother named Cam who does drink and smokes weed periodically.  He is the typical older brother who is looking out for his younger sister.  He comes to her rescue  and covers for her more than once.  I was so baffled that her brother loved her as much as he did, but he didn't love her enough to tell their parents.  I kept waiting for him to tell his parents because he loved "Lucy" and didn't want to see her overdose, but he doesn't tell until she gets a DUI and he feels that he has to tell.  Of course his parents are disappointed in him and everyone cries, but I was disappointed in the character Cam.  He was kind of making it a double standard that he was allowed to drink and smoke pot, but he didn't want "Lucy" doing it.  If you tell your sister she shouldn't, then you probably shouldn't be doing it either.  I felt that there was a lot of potential for Cam to do the right thing for someone he loved, but the author apparently didn't think he should do the right thing until she was really hooked on drugs and in some serious trouble.  I wanted there to be one knight in shining armor that would help rescue "Lucy" from her downward spiral.  I felt like Cam wanted to be that cool older brother that kept secrets, but he also struggled with doing the right thing.  I would love to read a "diary" from Cam's side of things.  I would love to know if there was something that was pulling his focus that allowed him to keep his sister's drug problem a secret.

The biggest issue I had was "Lucy" glamorizing drug use.  She was so excited every time she tried a new drug and she wrote about how it felt.  She made using drugs seem like the best choice she ever made in life.  I understand that this is from the viewpoint of "Lucy" and this is her diary and she was just writing what she felt. I just feel that if a junior high or high school student were to read this that they would think it was totally okay to do drugs because it will take you on the trip of a lifetime and you will feel AMAZING.  Whoever really wrote and published this should be ashamed of themselves for making drugs sound so appealing.  I think it was great that they admitted our main character into rehab at the end of the book, but it doesn't correct the problem.  It would have been a better ending if "Lucy" hadn't overdosed.  I feel that the ending would have sent a better message if the rehab helped heal "Lucy" of her drug abuse issues.  But instead this book just showed everyone that drugs are fantastic and that even rehab can't save you.

This book was very similar to Go Ask Alice and that was kind of a let down.  I did however enjoy this book taking place in modern age where people have cell phones.  I give the book 2 stars out of 5 because it glamorized drug use and was written in such an immature tone.  I would only recommend this book to mature adults who are able to handle the content in the book.  I have four other books that are written in the same diary format.  I'm somewhat excited to read those because they have different focal points than Lucy in the Sky and Go Ask Alice.